Journals / Title: TTC #1 with PCOS

Author: M
25th March, 4:16 pm

I had my CD21 blood test done. It feels like a big waste of time but anyway...

I'm still waiting for ovulation. For some reason, the wait is much worse this time.

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9th April, 2:13 pm

I'm feeling a bit down today. I'm on CD36 and I still haven't ovulated. I don't know why this cycle is so long. I've been stressed for two weeks because of work and dental problems but I'm fine now. I'm thinking of doubling the Agnus Castus next month even though I'm not sure it really works. For all I know my two shorter cycles could have been a coincidence.

And I need to wait the beginning of my next cycle for my second blood test. I feel like it's never going to happen.

The good news is that my partner has an appointment for his semen analysis in two weeks. It can take up to 3 weeks to get the results and 1 week for my blood test so hopefully, we'll have some answers mid-May.

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15th April, 12:15 am

My ovulation line changed today. It makes more sense now, though I think I ovulated a day earlier. I'm not very hopeful this month because our timing wasn't good. It's annoying especially in such a long cycle, I just feel like we wasted two months... But at least, I'm going to have my period and I'll be able to do the next blood test and to book my trip to go see my parents.

Other than that, I'm not doing very good with the dieting and exercising. I'm not feeling motivated at the moment, I hope it will change soon!

I'm looking forward to the long weekend. I'll probably end up working a little but I'll have more time to relax too.

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22nd April, 9:48 am

Wow, I had my BFP this morning!! I still can't believe it, I was convinced it wasn't possible with our timing and that 11DPO (according to Ovufriend) would be too early to tell but there's definitely a line on both tests. I'm still shaking. I don't know how I'm going to work today. My partner will freak out but at least, he won't have to go to his appointment tomorrow ;-)

If it can help anyone, here are my symptoms:
I've been very tired all weekend. I took a nap on Saturday and Sunday, even though I had slept enough during the night but I thought I was just being lazy and catching up from the previous weeks. Yesterday, I was looking for signs of spotting since it usually starts around 10DPO and noticed tons of creamy CM. I also had strong cramps on my left side and my breasts were a little tender but I wouldn't have noticed if I hadn't been looking for signs. I thought it could all be PMS symptoms but I normally don't have any and when I almost fell asleep at 7.30pm after getting up at 10am, I thought it wouldn't hurt to take a test in the morning.

I'm happy and scared at the same time. I know the risk of miscarriage is quite high with PCOS so I'll try not to get too excited before the 12-week mark but it's already a relief to know I can get pregnant...

Anyway, thank you to all the wonderful ladies here for your support and baby dust to all of you!

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23rd April, 9:14 pm

Thank you girls! I told my partner when he came home from work. I wasn't really expecting a reaction (I thought he would need time to let it sink in) but he immediately smiled, asked me if I was sure and when the due date would be.

Now I'm wondering what to tell my GP. He seemed completely clueless last time and I don't want to have my due date and appointments based on my last period as it would be almost 4 weeks early. I'll make an appointment tomorrow and we'll see what happens.

Everything seems unreal still and I'm trying not to get too excited but I'm failing completely so far.

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25th April, 5:07 pm

I'm back from the GP. He's worse than I remembered! He didn't even remember me from the 21 blood test and he estimated my due date to be 09/11, which is about two months off. Next appointment is on 22/05 with a midwife (thank god). It's going to be hard to wait until then. I hope I'll be able to relax more because at the moment, I'm mostly afraid of everything that could go wrong.

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28th April, 9:48 am

Kitten, can I ask you how much you paid for the private scan? I found two places which do it in my area but from 7 weeks and the price wasn't clear (not sure if I would have to pay just the scan or also a consultation). I've read that the first nhs scan should be between 11 and 14 weeks. At the time of my appointment with the midwife, I should be 8 weeks (6 weeks since ovulation + 2 weeks) but if she counts from the last period, that would be over 11 weeks so I might get an early scan because of that. I think I'll wait for my midwife appointment and then decide based on the date of the nhs scan. I'm going on holiday from 03/05 to 15/05 so it should keep me busy and make it easier to wait.

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29th April, 10:25 am

I started spotting last night... I was very light and mostly brown but with little clots (sorry if TMI). I had a little more this morning but it looks like it's over now. I'm worried I have to say. I looked it up on the internet and it seems pretty common so unless it comes back and gets worse, I'm just going to have to wait. It's too early for an ultrasound so I won't be able to be reassured and if something is wrong, surely it will get worse and I'll notice (and there's nothing my incompetent GP would be able to do about it anyway). So I'll just wait and hope it doesn't happen again. This is hard. I thought I'd just be happy to be pregnant and I am but I'm mostly afraid and I can't stop thinking that it's too good to be true.

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29th April, 5:51 pm

Thank you for your support. I've had a nap and feel a bit better now.
There's no other GP in my practice unfortunately so I'm hoping it was a false alarm and I won't have to go until my midwife appointment.

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1st May, 11:57 am

I took a Clearblue test with conception indicator yesterday to check that the pregnancy was progressing normally and the result was 3+ weeks, instead of 2-3 like I expected. So I think that OF was wrong and that I ovulated on the 7th or 8th and not on the 11th (if I delete my ECM on the 11th, OF says ovulation was on the 8th so that must be it). Anyway, I found it reassuring and I feel better and more optimistic.

As far as symptoms are concerned, I feel better than ever: I'm less tired and I have less cramps, my boobs are still a little sore and feel bigger but I don't mind and I'm starting to have random food aversions (apple tea and sweet potato so far) but I don't feel sick at all. Most of my PCOS symptoms have disappeared and I'm not constantly hungry like usual, which is great (I've even lost a kilo this week).

Good luck to everyone in the TWW and to everyone with irregular cycles waiting for ovulation as I know how difficult it can be.

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9th May, 12:10 pm

A lot has happened since last week. I went to the hen do weekend which was great but exhausting. The girls bought my antibiotics excuse and I managed to get a few extra hours of sleep here and there (though it was far from being enough). The problems started on Monday when I started spotting again. It was light like last time so I didn't worry too much about it but I was still spotting the next day and when I went to the toilet on the plane I could see the blood dripping (sorry for the details). So I freaked out completely and tried to call my partner so he could meet me at the train station to go to A&E. His phone was off (!) so I took a taxi and went on my own. I saw a really nice nurse who reassured me and said my blood pressure was fine, I just had a bit of a fever but nothing alarming and that I would see a doctor soon. The doctor was horrible. He didn't explainb anything, asked me for a urine sample (for which I had to go to the toilet on the other side of the waiting room with everyone looking at me) then left me on my own for ages. He came back and talked about threatened misscariage, told me he had made an appointment for a scan 2 days later and gave me a number to call in case I was in pain or bleeding a lot before then. I told him I was supposed to go abroad the next day and he told me I shouldn't because if I had lost the baby, the scan was necessary to make sure everything was gone (!!). So, horrible experience. The next day, I called the hospital where I was supposed to have the scan and explained the situation and they told me since I wasn't bleeding anymore and it was never very heavy, that I could go abroad but I would have to see a doctor there if anything happened and if not,to call them when I'm back to make another appointment. So I didn't cancel my trip, I arrived in the evening and I went to hospital the next day because I was so worried. They gave me an appointment with a gyneacologist on the same day and she was great and couldn't believe I hadn't had a scan yet (in this country, they do a physical exam, a scan and blood tests straight away to check that everything is ok). She told me that everything was fine, there is a baby, it's in the right place, she could see the heartbeat and it measured 5 weeks and 6 days, which is consistent with my OF chart. She told me not to worry about the spotting as long as it's not heavy and it doesn't hurt and gave me progesterone and told me to rest so I took the rest of the week off work. I know a lot can still happen in the next 6 weeks but I'm so relieved now!

Message edited by the author 9th May, 11:11 pm

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16th May, 12:24 pm

I'm back in the UK. I had a good time at my parents but it's nice to be home after almost 2 weeks.

I'm 7 weeks today and haven't had any spotting since I started the progesterone so I'm a little nervous about stopping it next week but I have my midwife appointment on the day I'm supposed to stop so I'll ask about it. I still don't have many symptoms apart from the tender breasts and fatigue. My mother said she never had morning sickness so I'm hoping I'm the same and it's not a bad sign.

I've also been very lucky not to get sick on the hen do weekend because apparently four out of eight of the girls are very ill. One has been off work for a week already.

So I'm doing pretty good but I'm still too scared to enjoy the pregnancy. One of my friends told everyone she was pregnant as soon as she found out and posted a baby registry list on Facebook at just 10 weeks! I would never do anything like that but how great would it be to be so confident that everything will be ok...

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27th May, 12:25 pm

I'm not doing too good today. I stopped the progesterone at the end of last week like the doctor I saw in Belgium told me to do and started spotting again the next day. The day after is got worse so I started taking it again and I spent the long weekend worrying. I saw my GP today and he told me that they don't give progesterone in the UK and I shouldn't take it and the bleeding I had this weekend was probably withdrawal. But he wouldn't check my levels... From what I've read on the Internet, it can only help so I'm going to keep taking it until I see a speicalist who checks my levels and takes my problem seriously. In the meantime I have an early scan booked for tomorrow. I'm happy because if all goes well, it will be reassuring but at the same time, I'm really scared. I'm also concerned that my almost non-existent symptoms have decreased, though I know it doesn't necessarily mean anything.

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28th May, 6:00 pm

Thanks Kitten for your message! I just came back from the scan and everything is ok. The person I saw (not sure if she was a nurse or a midwife or something else) told me that they don't prescribe progesterone when the pregnancy is started (just as part of infertility treatment) and that if I managed to get pregnant I should not need it. She thinks the fact that I stopped bleeding when I started taking it, started bleeding as soon as I stopped and stopped bleeding when I took it again is just a coincidence...... I have enough tablets to last until my 12 week scan so I think I'm going to keep taking it. From what I found on the internet and what you just said, I think it can only help. How much were you prescribed? I'm taking 200mg once a day. Also I want to keep taking it because I'm pretty sure I'll bleed again if I stop now and I don't need the extra worry...

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3rd June, 1:52 pm

I had a little spotting again yesterday but the great news is that a friend of mine lent me a doppler so I was able to listen to the heart for reassurance. The spotting was very light and stopped very quickly but I'm wondering where it came from since I haven't lowered my progesterone intake yet. I guess it's something I have to get used to. Today, I'm 9+4 according to my first scan and 10+1 according to my second scan and I'm starting to feel more relaxed and optimistic. I have my 12 week scan on the 23st. I can't wait!

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9th June, 10:53 am

Still feeling very good. I haven't been very affected with morning sickness but it seems to have stopped completely so it's even better. I did have a terrible headache from Saturday morning until Sunday evening and I read it's better to avoid taking anything in the first 12 weeks so I just tried drinking more water and sleeping more and it looks like it worked, which is great because I have a big project to finish for tomorrow for work. I also started lowering my progesterone intake and I haven't spotted yet, which I'm very happy about. I'm between 10+3 and 11 weeks today and really looking forward to the scan in two weeks.

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13th June, 2:08 pm

I've been suffering from hay fever this week. Yesterday was really bad but I'm a little better today. I can't take any of my usual medicine so I just have to live with it. I've had another headache yesterday and I feel dizzy if I get up too quickly. I'm not too bothered because I know it's all for a good cause, I just hope it's nothing to worry about. I'll ask at my scan.

Other than that, I'm really looking forward to the weekend and I only have 10 days to go before my scan. I'm looking forward to it because if everything is ok, I'll feel much more relaxed, because baby should look like a real baby now and also because my partner hasn't told anyone yet and I'm looking forward to hearing his family's reaction. Just writing this makes me feel happy!

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20th June, 10:20 am

I'm definitely over 12 weeks now and very happy! Next big step is my scan on Monday. I feel like a child waiting to open their Christmas presents (which is not far from the truth!). I'll update on Monday.

I wanted to thank you all for your support! I hope you're doing well and will have some good news very soon :-)

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23rd June, 4:13 pm

I'm back from the scan. I got really emotional and cried so much when I saw that the baby was ok that it was hard to see anything on the screen. But then we saw the baby from every angle and it was amazing. It moved a lot and it's probably just me but I thought it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. My due date was put forward again and it's now Christmas day! It's not possible looking at my chart so I think the baby might just be a bit bigger than the norm (like me). I have to book another midwife appointment in about 2 weeks and my next scan is on 7/08. I think today is the first time I realize we're really going to have a baby! I really hope you will all experience this feeling very soon!

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11th July, 9:25 am

Just realised I haven't been on here for a long time but a lot as happened recently. The main thing is that my partner's dad sadly passed away three days after our announcement. Apparently he was very happy about the news and was looking forward to be a grandfather so I'm happy that we told him in time. I wasn't able to attend the funeral because I was on a weekend away with my sister. I felt really guilty about this but the weekend had been planned for months and I would have felt guilty leaving my sister on her own as well. My partner was sad about his dad of course but was expecting it to happen and was glad to spend time with his family. His mother and sister got us loads of baby items. I think they're happy to have something positive to focus on.

I'm 16 weeks now and my symptoms are pretty much gone (my breasts are still a little sore but that's it) and I don't really have a bump yet (I just look bloated) so I don't really feel or look pregnant but everything seems to be ok with the baby so that's all that matters.

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