Journals / Title: One eggs search for the prefect sperm!

Author: Rosey

About me: I'm Rosey, 41, married to DH for just over 3 years.

Months trying to conceive: Started our journey in January 13 by coming off BCP.

My story: Coming off the pill was much more traumatic than I expected. Doc said it would take a while for my body to regulate but I didn't expect side effects, how naive am I! My body started to come round in April.

My emotions: I thought that I would be relaxed about it but when it took 4 months to start Ov, it felt like they were wasted trying months and if we werent trying how could anything happen! Feel calmer now in general, sometimes excited, sometimes scared, sometimes disappointed.

28th August, 2:57 pm

Indicators say must be due to ov anytime. We've been in the 'baby making love bubble' for a few days and really having a good time. I'm waiting for the temp/test indicator to say I have ovulated! Just realising today, I dont really know what I'm looking for in the temp, this is my first month with the thermometer - some reading up to be done.

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29th August, 10:55 am

Checked up on the temping thing yesterday, think I have it now, aren't our hormones amazing, one to nudge the egg out, one to incubate by raising the temp!! How little I actually knew about my body's inner workings before! Last night my OPK was positive, so any day now! Slightly bad timing as DH has started his night shift and energy is low, low but the LOVE is strong!!! When I checked this morning found the girls advise waiting for me, how exciting to be in this together and have such great support! Thank you girls.

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30th August, 12:03 pm

Have had a nice rise in my temp this morning, seems the indicators are good for my ov. I think we have got some good timings on our baby dancing this month!! (and enjoyed it!!) Feeling quite positive and happy we did our best this month. Out of our hands now, so to speak!! We're heading off on holidays soon, so hopefully that will help with the TTW thats starting.

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1st September, 5:54 pm

I've been quite distracted this weekend preparing for our holiday, but the hormones are definitely doing something. My boobs ache! Funny, in my younger days it was never something I suffered from. Off to the sun on Wednesday, hope to be lying by the pool waiting for the time to pass!

Message edited by the author 2nd September, 10:22 am

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23rd September, 11:08 am

The holiday is over! Back to basics again. I was disappointed when AF came on holidays but the whole thing was relaxing and the slower pace was good. Back to a manic work situation which in this climate is great. Hard to get back to temping, forgot this morning as I jumped out of bed when the alarm went off, I was so confused as to why the alarm was on! I've entered my fertile time so going to try to remember tomorrow morning. Hope the chilled feeling from the holidays helps to keep me relaxed this month. Let the fun begin!!

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25th September, 2:27 pm

Ok have got back to my temping have had a good dip today, expecting ov today. It's my birthday so some birthday action is planned for this evening!
I think I'm finding the process of TTC more 'all consuming' than I originally expected. I'm quite a level person and I have, by circumstances, ended up TTC later in my life than one might plan for in their youth. The up and down of the hormones, the waiting and expectation as each month passes is much harder than I thought it would be. I have more recently noticed more pregnant women on the street/in shop and I do end up thinking, will that ever be me? Today I'm another year older! But I'm an optimistic person by nature, glass half full and all that! When and if it's going to happen - well thats what will be!
Still looking forward to this evening!

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30th September, 12:59 pm

DH was off this weekend and we had a really relaxing time. Had a nice walk in what might be the last really bright and warm day of the year!

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7th October, 10:26 am

Oh how my emotions have been all over the place since the 3rd. I really have been all over the place. Very easily upset and a bit sharp!! So hard to tell if this is just the signs that AF is due in a couple of day or if I should read into it that there is something else going on in my body. Feel tired and just subdued today, maybe my work mates will appreciate that for a change!!

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8th October, 2:27 pm

Feel a bit more myself today. Just hoping that everything I've been feeling isn't AF on the way. Only time will tell.

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11th October, 10:59 am

I'm on tender hooks to see if AF is going to start today. I feel at times like I am holding my breath just waiting to see. My moods have been all over the place, could of course just be a bad PMS month for me, it would just really be nice if that wasn't it. The waiting is so bad its like a ache.

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14th October, 11:06 am

I was very disappointed yesterday when AF came. I had really hoped that the different thing I had felt in my body were a sign that something different was happening. So yesterday I wallowed in the disappointment.
TODAY - today is a new cycle! The things I'm thankful for are an understand DH who sympathised without patronising me and that my cycles are regular meaning I can try again this month.
So bring on the fun!!

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16th October, 12:08 pm

Don't know whats going on with me this cycle, feeling very emotional. Think it could be the disappointment from last month affecting me. At times I feel fine then others I feel on the verge of tears, normally I'm an upbeat sort of person so I am struggling with the 'why do I feel like this' moments. Or maybe it is still the AF hormones in the background still some affects from that lingering. Chin up, maybe today will be better!! :)

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17th October, 12:28 pm

Feeling a little more, level, today! I went for a walk last night after work, it was only raining a little so I just bit the bullet and went for it. I really think the exercise helped. I also had a cuppa with a friend who could understand and we just had a bit of a girly gossip about feelings etc. Still didn't sleep great, I often have trouble shutting my brain off and night and it kicked off again last night so I'm a little tired today but I don't feel that on the edge emotions I have of late.
Yes altogether I feel a lot more possitive today. :)

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21st October, 12:05 pm

Weirdly I appear to have ov early this cycle. Seems strange, I checked back in my charts and I did ov on day 9 in May but I thought that was because I was still a little messed up after coming off BCP. Boobs feel like they have been sore forever! Does sort of explain the moods though as there is obviously a load of hormones swimming around. Wonder what the rest of the cycle will hold for me? The joys of having no control!

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25th October, 1:18 pm

Today I'm marveling at the wonders of the cervix!! I have never checked it before and though, why not, at the start of this cycle. I have to say I was a bit bewildered at the start by what I was actually feeling, not knowing what to expect mainly, although I checked out a couple of internet sites to get an idea and that helped a little, although I still wasn't sure how to interpert what I felt. And for about 6ish days it felt much the same. But my word! Today there was a distinct change! DH thinks I'm off my rocker when I got so excited this morning discribing the change from soft to hard, high to low! How marvelous are our bodies! Thats been going on inside me and I had no idea! OK I realise I'm getting a little excited but I can be an enthusiastic person and I think its amazing! :-) Boobs still sore though, not so enthusiastic about that, but hey at least I'm distracted today!!

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30th October, 11:17 am

Finding it really hard not to test early this month. Don't think it actually helps except to make the feelings of disappointment start early if its a BFN. Just going to try and distract myself. The sore boobs are starting to really get me down really quite uncomfortable at times and the stairs are a nightmare! :-0

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31st October, 3:39 pm

Dip in temp this morning. I find I'm looking for the reason in every little thing my body does now. My first thought this morning was, oh what does that mean? Looking back I have had dips in temp before at different dpo from 5 to todays 11 and I really don't know that it means anything!
OK I'm in for the long haul on the testing M!! I'm going to hold off until the 5th which is my estimate of when AF is due about 15 dpo, hasn't been exact over past couple of months but thats the date for testing!! Grrrr.... (thats me being determined!):-)

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5th November, 4:47 pm

My previous entry talks about finding it hard to wait to test, but as soon as my temps started doing silly mountain patterns suddenly I don't want to test. Think tomorrow will be the crunch day anyway, have the AF feelings today, just have to wait and see what tomorrow brings.

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6th November, 11:02 am

Thanks for all the positive support Kitten.
AF started last night so new cycle for me today.

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7th November, 5:08 pm

Thanks ladies.
For the first positive of this cycle my boobs have finally settled down! I had forgotten what normal was like! Trying to take a more relaxed approach this one. Going to try going with the flow as they say!! We'll see how that goes for me!! :-)

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