“I will get pregnant as soon as I stop using contraception.”
Many women still believe they’ll get pregnant as soon as they decide to have a baby. This does happen sometimes, but not often! The truth is, a vast majority of couples don’t conceive during the first months after they stop using contraceptives. Remember, during every cycle, a completely healthy couple has on average only about a 25% chance of conceiving, and only if they have intercourse on fertile days.
"We are both super healthy, active and eat well, so we should not have any problem conceiving."
Your state of health, even if you’re in top shape, is not an indicator of your fertility. Many people with fertility problems don’t have any external signals that might indicate they’ll have difficulty conceiving.
"Since I did not get pregnant during the first few cycles, there must be something wrong with me."
Not true! In fact, getting pregnant usually takes some time. If you don’t conceive during the first few months of trying, it does not mean you have fertility problems. According to most doctors, you have nothing to worry about for up to 12 months of trying. During the first year, as many as 80% of couples will conceive. Note, however, that if you notice a problem, such as OvuFriend not marking ovulation on your chart for a few cycles, don’t wait for 12 months to see a doctor. Make an appointment to make sure everything is all right.
"If I’m under 35 years old, I should not have problems getting pregnant."
It’s true that fertility declines rapidly after you turn 35, but that does not mean that younger women are home free, not even the 20 year old who is theoretically at the peak of her fertility. Age is only one of the many factors that can contribute to problems with getting pregnant. There are many other issues, not related to age, which can affect a woman's fertility, such as hormonal disorders, endometriosis, and tubal occlusion. These disorders have nothing to do with age and can also occur in very young women.
"Most of the problems with getting pregnant can be attributed to the woman."
This is probably the most common myth concerning fertility. The truth is that fertility problems are quite evenly distributed between men and women. About 30% of problems with conception can be attributed to the woman, another 30% to the man, and the rest are due to unexplained causes or a combination of both partners' probelms.
"Having frequent intercourse is enough to conceive."
It’s not the frequency of intercourse that determines your chances of getting pregnant, but the matching of intercourse with your ovulation date. During your cycle, there are only a few days during which you can get pregnant. If you have intercourse on all the other days and miss the key ones (before and during ovulation), then despite frequent intercourse, your chances of conception are nil. For example, you could have sex during 24 of the 29 days of your cycle, but not conceive, because you did not have intercourse while you were ovulating.
Make love as often as you feel like it (provided that your partner does not have problems with the quantity or quality of sperm!), but remember that in order to get pregnant, it’s the timing that counts, not the frequency. It‘s enough to make love only during the most fertile days of your cycle in order to successfully conceive.
If you keep failing to get pregnant for a few months, make sure you know when the most fertile days of your cycle are, because even if you’re having frequent intercourse, it may not be on the "right" days.
"Everyone is getting pregnant without any problem except me. I feel so alone."
Infertility is not a rare phenomenon. Every fifth couple has problems with conception, and these statistics continue to increase as a growing number of couples struggle with infertility each year.
It’s easy to feel isolated, however, because infertility is a very personal matter and painful to many, so few people talk about it openly. Many couples often hide that they’re trying to have a baby to avoid unpleasant questions like, "Have you gotten pregnant yet?" You may not even know that someone close to you is also having problems conceiving. It’s easy to feel lonely and that this problem only affects you.
"I will get pregnant if I have intercourse 14 days after the first day of menstruation."
This is unfortunately a very common myth, one that delays many couples' efforts to conceive. It’s based on the assumption that every woman has a cycle exactly 28 days long and a luteal phase lasting exactly 14 days (luteal phase is the time between ovulation and the next menstrual period).
In reality, most women don’t have by-the-book cycles with ovulation occurring mid-way through their cycle. For example, a woman who has 32-day cycles and a 12-day luteal phase could ovulate around the 20th day of the cycle, which is 20, and not 14 days after the first day of menstruation.
When trying to get pregnant, it’s important to recognize your body’s rhythm (you can do it by observing your body and keeping an OvuFriend ovulation calendar) and have intercourse on the days you are most fertile, not on the days a book tells you to have intercourse.
"Getting pregnant with my first child was easy, so there should not be a problem the second time around."
Having a child already may give you some peace of mind, but it does not ensure your success in getting pregnant again. Some couples suffer from so-called “secondary infertility,” the inability to conceive their second child. Age could be one cause, if you have waited a long time to conceive again. In addition, over time, both the woman and the man may acquire additional conditions that hinder conception (e.g. hypothyroidism or fibroids in women, or prostate problems in men).
"I can get pregnant only on one day of my cycle - the day of ovulation."
Fortunately, you can usually get pregnant during a few days in a given cycle, and not just on the day of ovulation. Although ovulation lasts only one day (on average, the egg is capable of being fertilized for approximately 12-24 hours), the spermatozoids are able to survive within the environment of the vagina for up to five days. Thus, the maximum number of days in the cycle during which conception may occur is approximately six (the five days prior to ovulation plus the ovulation day).
Every couple, however, has its own fertility window. For some, it ’s as long as six days, and for others it lasts just a few hours. The length depends on both the man (sperm quality), and the woman (egg viability and the degree to which the environment of the vagina is sperm-friendly). Keep in mind that your individual fertility window will determine when you should plan intercourse, and will be based on your ovulation date. The fewer fertile days you have, the more accurately you should determine your ovulation date.
Read on to find out if fertile days always fall on the 14th day of the cycle, and whether, if you’re younger than 35, you’ll get pregnant easily. Learn to distinguish facts from myths.
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